We lost our beloved dog, Java, this past week. He was one of the sweetest dogs you could hope to meet. So gentle and loving that we would often call him "perpetual puppy." I am in the stage where I have to remind myself that he is gone. He would often sleep right behind my office chair and I still look for him there, only to catch my breath when I look down and see that he isn't. Please let me get past this stage. I don't want to linger in this transition period of looking for what isn't there. In the meantime, I am doing some things to help ease my heartbreak. I have planted a memorial butterfly garden with a yellow rose bush in the center. Java was born in August and died in August, and August's color is yellow. I didn't know this before I started planting, but the appropriateness of it didn't escape me. I am also inspired to paint him, maybe to capture what is now gone. Maybe as therapy. After time heals me a bit more, I will be able to put together the pictures. For now that will have to wait, as it would be just too much and as I navigate through this difficult time I am going to be gentle with myself....just like Java!
Shari, I'm truly so sorry. I have felt such a pit in my stomach ever since I read your e-mail. Death is really my biggest stumbling block on this ever-evolving spiritual journey. All the sage and kind words in the world don't comfort you when you look behind your office chair, see he's not there & you get that catch in your throat feeling. I
ReplyDeletewish I knew some way I could help time pass faster so your heart heals faster. I'm mentally hugging you so tight.
What she said.
ReplyDeleteCan't type very well through tears.