Last night I had one of those great nights where everything flows and you just know you are exactly where you are meant to be. First, there was a moon hanging so full and bright that it just made me happy and set the mood for a good night. My friend Beth and I went to this great revamped old little theater in a neighboring historic town. The Athens Theatre is a step back in time, with plush, polished wood-backed seats, red velvet curtains framing the stage and double balconies, left and right. It was just so NICE. The movie that we went to see was called, "Who Does She Think She Is?" An independent film, about women creatives, artists who are also mothers and how they "deal" with that. I can't even put into words how great this movie is. If you are a woman, a woman artist, or mother, I highly recommend it. I laughed, I cried, and I walked away feeling inspired, empowered, hopeful, and strong. The great thing is that those feelings are spilling over into today, and I hope they spill into tomorrow and so on.
I am at the heart of "dealing" with this right now in my own life. I am raising a wonderfully, high-spirited daughter, am wife to a supportive husband and all that goes with being a happy homemaker. I actually like doing dishes and cooking and keeping house. I love that side of my life. But I also love the other side....the side where I am just me, in my studio, I love writing feverishly, letting the ideas pour out without interruption. I love splashing about in paint bringing those ideas to fruition while jamming out with headphones. I love being in the flow and not having to take care of anyone else, aware of only me. Ideally I would have a balance, but that is not the case most of the time. I often have to steal moments here and there to myself. That is not a good feeling. I end up feeling deprived. But with a young child, what is a mother to do? I know that life is ever-flowing and changing and this phase won't always be, and probably I will mourn it as much as I have mourned previous phases.
So in the meantime, I will do the best that I can. I will make the time for my creativity. I will be open to opportunities to have time to myself and take it. Just like last night. That night out fueled me. I was exactly where I needed to be. It left me asking "Who Do I Think I Am?"
