Ready to Bloom

I had mentioned in an earlier post that a decision had been made in my life. Well, that decision was to quit my job and follow my creative path. The idea solidified while I was on vacation and I reached a point of clarity about what I was doing with my life, what I wanted to do and what I didn't want to do. I realized that I have stayed too long at my current career. Yes, it was a means to an end. There was a reason for it. I was able to work from home. I am so thankful that I didn't have to leave Leila every day to go to work. I think this has meant a lot as far as her growth and development and her sense of security. I remember my mom being home with us, and I wanted that for her, at least until she got into school. And I plan on being there when she gets out to check on her day and make her a snack and help with her homework.

I had gotten to a crossroads where I could feel my creative spirit dying. So much of my time was being taken up by WORK that there wasn't anything left. Even though I had orders for art to be filled, I was working double time, becoming cranky and frustrated. Something wasn't right and I felt trapped. More than a few times, the words "this job is killing me" passed my lips.

Now, it seems like a magical key has been turned somewhere in the Universe. I feel like I finally "get it". Yes, I am freaking out a little bit here and there. But I catch myself and remind myself that it was almost as if I didn't have a choice. The time feels absolutely right for me to walk this path and see where it takes me, to honor my creativity, to see what I can do if I put my energy into it. I am excited and thrilled to be on the verge of devoting myself to myself. In those moments of panic (usually about lack of funds) I remind myself that I can get a job. I have skills a'plenty and to handle that if it comes up. Maybe it won't....EVER.

So, now I need to finish out the week, listen for gentle reassurances that the universe is on my side, indulge in my dreams, and know that I am a creative spirit ready to bloom. I am so happy and proud to be an artist!